My sister Lisa.  This photo was taken at my brother’s cottage a few weeks ago by our cousin Mitch.  Growing up we were inseparable, we did everything together.  And after I failed Grade 3 – we ended up in the same grade.   We went from Gordon Public School, to Welland Centennial Secondary School and then off to York University in Toronto.  We shared two apartments and a house in Toronto.  And after she married in 2014, our mom moved in with me at the house and I took care of her for the next 9 years until her death in Nov. 2023.

Since my mom’s death, my sister and I have gotten together almost weekly to watch a movie.  We have seen some great films these last few months.  It’s reminded me of a time when we lived together and watched countless movies and our favorite tv shows. By her own admission, Lisa does not watch movies like she used to so this was a way to reignite that joy and get back to some familiar roots.

My sister used to visit our mom every weekend.   In the summer, we’d sit in the backyard and enjoy the garden.  And we three always shared a good laugh.  This summer is obviously a little different – a bittersweet reminder of how things used to be.  My mom loved watching movies.  With my sister and I watching movies, I’m reminded of my mom and the selfless joy she gave us.  Although she’s missing in the photo above, she’s impossible to forget.

Lisa and my mom share many similar characteristics.  Having her around is a connection to my mom.   But even more than that, and more than I want to admit, I’ve depended on my sister throughout most  of my life.  There’s an unspoken kind of honesty (or more to the point, bluntness!) that exists between us that I’m forever grateful for.  And all that “play” from childhood carried on into our adult life where theatre continued to play a huge part of that fun.

I wrote plays starting in elementary school and I haven’t stopped since.  In university, I branched off into screenwriting.  But from the elementary school days right up to and beyond university, including a myriad of church productions, I used to write plays and give my sister the lead roles.  She was a “meat and potatoes” kind of actor and what I mean by that is, she’d learn her lines, recite them on stage and was a natural.   But she was always nervous performing and several years ago, she stopped acting altogether.  I used to love acting as well, but in the last 10 years, my writing has monopolized my time.  The act of doing these creative projects together all those years was a lot of fun and it was certainly something that nurtured our friendship, love and respect for each other. And, despite our mother’s absence, we two continue to share a lot of laughs.  Our history is deep and our mom’s joy lives on in us.

Speaking of creativity, an update for you and two quotes from writers.   Steven Pressfield is an American writer of historical fiction, non-fiction and screenplays.   Maya Angelou is an American writer, poet and civil rights activist.

WAVES – the current play I’m writing – is on page 69.   The biggest piece of advice I have for any writer out there is that when you are writing your first draft, write it as efficiently and as expediently as possible.   Try not to take any days off.  Sometimes we get in the way of our own writing (as Maya alludes to when it comes to rejection, competitiveness and comparison – I’ve been there).  And sometimes life stuff like family, friends and other work gets in the way.  If you are in the middle of a draft and you take several days off, when you go back to where you left off, it’s like starting over again.  You end up spending so much time reviewing what you wrote so that you can navigate where you are going. It’s energy draining.  This happened to me recently and I found it quite frustrating to get that flow back.  Art can be war like Steven says and you really have to fight so much along the way. When you’re writing everyday, there’s a synergy that happens and the creativity has a better chance of evolving than if you write sporadically.   So put your armor on, stay focused on the joy and be as disciplined as you can.  Tell any self-doubt or procrastination to take a hike as you create your art.

Whatever journey you’re on today, I hope you’re able to find the joy and laughter even in the midst of hardship or grief.  Life is a test full of mystery and wonder.  But it can also be quite simple and beautiful, like a brother hugging his sister.