Sister Lisa, Mom, Me

The three amigos here.  That middle amigo (my mom) has been through a lot these last couple of years and somehow she finds the will to endure.   She is an example of strength, fighting through mental illness for more than half her life, caring for my father for 7 years, who passed away from Alzheimer’s (or as others like to refer to as “the long goodbye”)…and then shortly after that, being hospitalized for 5 months because of the burn out and mental fatigue she simply could not deal with anymore.

Yet somehow, throughout it all, she manages to smile even though anxiety continue to haunt and rip through her to this day.  My mom has apologized to me personally on more than one occasion for her recent mental struggles.  Can you imagine, this woman, feeling bad for me because she feels so bad?  Let me be clear to anyone who battles with mental illness:  this is NOT your fault, so don’t feel guilty and don’t blame yourself.   Whether you struggle with depression, anxiety, worry, social phobias, schizophrenia, bipolar, mania or any other of the myriad of mental illnesses out there, these are real and should be taken just as seriously as any cancer or heart attack.  Sadly, mental illness is still stigmatized in this society because it is so misunderstood.

There is no question that my mother’s struggles and my father’s death from Alzheimer’s has had an impact on the writing I do.  My screenplay PLAY BALL dealt with a man with the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s.  My screenplay BREAK AWAY and my play ANIMAL each have central characters struggling with various forms of mental illness.  And now my new screenplay, A PROMISE I MADE TO MR. BANGLES, combines both these diseases in two supporting characters – a mother (with mental illness) and a father (in the latter stages of  Alzheimer’s).  The experiences of these two characters and the family members around them is based, in part, what my family went through during one of the toughest periods in our lives.  Hurting people, their triumphs and defeats, is what I write about.

A PROMISE I MADE TO MR. BANGLES centers on a children’s author who struggles to write his next book as he deals with ailing parents, a dysfunctional sister and her son.   The story goes off the rails when both parents are hospitalized and Mr. Bangles, one of the author’s fictional characters, comes to life demanding the author kill him like he promised he would do in his next book.   Along the way, everyone is asking the author why he hasn’t written in a year.  What is he waiting for?

I’ve been asking myself that question this past year.  This new screenplay has been a challenge.  Writing has been hard.  The focus has been difficult.  The rejections have been disheartening.  And yet, like my mom (though I would never compare myself to what she fights), I somehow find the will to endure.   And that’s what I tell everyone else today reading this.  Simply endure.  It is what it is.  Look for the silver lining in this wacky journey of life.  For me it is filled with a wild sense of creativity and at times backbreaking self-doubt.   That is life – the good with the bad.  It is no easy journey.  The joy, sometimes, believe or not, is felt when we recognize the pain and we chose to endure.   I’m not sure how happy one can actually be in this life considering everything that is currently going on in this broken world.  In my lifetime  I have not experienced anything quite resembling the amount of  angst coming at us in so many different directions.  And yet, we must endure.  If you need to cry, don’t be ashamed to and never be afraid to ask for help.  Always strive to be the better version of you.   Don’t ever settle on mediocrity whether that be in your personal or professional life.  Yes, there are seasons when we are not ready for change or in a holding pattern.  But the time will come when you must step up at the bat and when you do, swing hard.  And put a smile on your face when you can like this lady does….

Finally, my short play THAT’S HOW IT GOES SOMETIMES is still playing online via The Ward One Acts Festival.   The virtual festival has been extended to August 31.  You can purchase tickets HERE.