My focus for the last two months has mainly been the re-write of Circus.  I completed a new draft a couple days ago and have read it over once to get a sense of the play.  The play has expanded from four to five characters.  I was able to use all the history of the characters from the first draft and plant them in a new plot for this draft.  I achieved what I set out to do and that was to show what mental illness does to a person. Too much of the first draft was telling the audience everything.  I stretched myself by allowing the characters to jump from scene to scene and in the process jump timelines.  As a playwright, most of my plays are told in real time in real settings.  In Circus, I broke from this tradition and I was able to open up the play, casting a wider net on themes and characters’ histories.  This allowed me to show more specifically and viscerally, what a person with mental illness is experiencing.  The audience will have greater sympathy for the main character (Raina) because they see and hear what she sees and hears.

After reading through the new draft, it didn’t take me long to realize how much work is needed to bring Circus to the point where I am confident with the writing.  It took me some time to warm up to the play and by the half way mark, the characters and plot began clicking.  I started figuring out where the play was leading me.  My sense is the first half of the play is going to need more work in the re-writing than the second half.

Regardless of this fact, whenever you write a draft, I equate it to “barfing it out” on paper.  In other words, it’s messy, it can be chunky, but ultimately, once you get it all out, you feel much, much better.  Then what follows is the clean up.   That’s where I’m at today.  It’s time to type everything into the computer (because I write long hand) and start cleaning.  This mostly involves editing down what’s on paper and eventually re-shaping scenes and dialogue.  There is lots of work to do but at least the blueprint is done.  I expect the next month to have a competent working draft where I can better see the shape of the play.

I came across a quote which I am using as a reference point for Circus.  The quote is from the great Eugene O’Neill:

“Man is born broken. He lives by mending.  The grace of God is glue.”

I’ve had two crushing disappointments regarding my re-write of Home from Page International and Bluecat Screenwriting Competition. Although in one of the competitions I ended in the top 25%, in both results I did not advance to the next round.  The frustrating thing for me is, 4 years ago when I was entering an earlier draft of Home in various comps, it was placing in semifinals and finalist positions.  Now, with the Home re-write and a much stronger and focused script, it’s not placing.   Look, you pick yourself up and move on, and never try to figure out the wisdom of readers on the other end.  But I would be lying to you if I didn’t admit that the results made me feel  insecure and mostly just plain mad….for about a day….or two….okay, maybe I’m still mad…but only a little.

My friend sent me a nice quote to lift my spirits.  Hopefully it lifts yours if you need it today…

“Anyone can give up; it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” — Anonymous