She has suffered with mental illness for nearly 40 years of her life.  She has seen many doctors.  She has been in psych wards.  She has tried a variety of medications – some worked, some didn’t.  She has lost her identity, then found it again, lost it, found it…you get the picture.  She is a woman of great faith.  She is a wife, a mother, a friend.  And she is one of the bravest people I know.  Meet Alberina Ciolfi.  My mother.   She may not always be smiling, but this face is the truest sense of who she is and it is how I choose to see her – a childlike joy.

When I look at all the screenplays and plays I’ve written over the years, there is one common thread that binds them together – characters who struggle to find their way in this twisty thing we call life.   As far back as I can remember…even in elementary school when I started writing plays, my characters had to fight to find peace, to reconcile haunting pasts, to live in uncomfortable presents, to look ahead at uncertain futures and to ultimately embrace a sometimes fragile, but powerful hope.  Hope trumps everything.

Why do I write what I write?  A lot of it has to do with the lady above and witnessing the pain she has experienced.  She immigrated from Italy to Canada in her  late teens, along with my father who was in his early 20’s.  They arrived with just the clothes on their backs.  I don’t know how my parents did it, raising 5 kids.  It wasn’t easy.  But we were always provided for, never lacking.  And we kids had fun…we had so much fun growing up.  It was a creative environment of music, film, television, theatre, writing, painting, sculpting and hockey…lots of hockey.   We had fun despite the fact my mother got sick with a range of mental illnesses which brought upon a tremendous amount of stress on all of us, particularly for my father.  Ultimately, my dad scummed to Alzheimer’s disease in 2009.

Most of us don’t get through this life without being touched by some source of discomfort.   Granted, some families deal with less pain.  It’s all relative.   The focus shouldn’t be on the pain and suffering, but rather, the hope that lives beyond it.  I would not be the writer I am today if it wasn’t for my parents’ story.    I’m certain my screenplay PLAY BALL about a man who suffers with the early stages of Alzheimer’s, would not have been written had I not witnessed what Alzheimer’s did to my dad.  For those who don’t know about PLAY BALL, you can read about its success HERE.  My play ANIMAL (which is having a public reading at the Alumnae Theatre on Sat. March 24 @ 12 NOON) was written as a way to cope with my mother’s mental illness.   ANIMAL deals with a woman who suffers deeply in her mind and the devastating ripple effect the disease has on family members.  Learn more and meet the cast/creative team of the upcoming staged reading of ANIMAL HERE.

I took the hard times I saw my parents go through and I’ve been able to filter that into my writing.  It’s not just about writing what you know because that can sometimes be boring.  It’s about writing what you know and making it your very own – putting your own creative spin on things and journeying to wherever your story takes you.   The creative process for me is about looking at life, listening to people, and then absorbing it into your art in such a way where others can appreciate it and also be challenged.  My hope is that when someone reads or sees my work, that what they feel is that they are not alone…that sometimes life can be difficult…that we all have to manage our pains.  I’m not a person who looks at the glass being half empty.  It’s half full.  And if it feels empty (it certainly has for me at times), keep filling it.  Don’t wallow in misery, but dig deep.  Resist fear.  Fight for courage.  Rise to the best possible hope.

Because quite honestly, if the face above is the face of mental illness (and I’ve seen how it can destroy),  then despair can take a backseat.   Live for better days.  My mother was fortunate she could.  She had a loving husband and a huge support from her children.    Some don’t have that same support and that’s tough when you’re going through hard times.  Do the best you can.  Surround yourself with the best of everything.    Guard your mind.  Tomorrow is another day.  The glass is half full.