My mom recently said to me:  “When I die, I’m going to miss you.”  It was a great response to the hugs I give her.  She has recently gone through a change in her medication and as a result, she’s had to struggle through some  re-calibration (for lack of a better word) in her brain.   It’s been a struggle as she has suffered from various forms of mental illness for the good part of 40 years of her life.  But she is always the trouper.  My play ANIMAL is based, in part,  from my experiences growing up with someone who is mentally unwell.   That line she said to me about dying and missing me ended up in my newest draft of ANIMAL.

Speaking of ANIMAL, last month I had a reading of the latest draft thanks to some actors who gave of their time and talents as we sat around and read the play.  After the reading, I received feedback from them and  I met/talked with others who have been close to this project over the years.  Everyone agreed that this was a much improved play with some wonderful new moments throughout.  I cut a lot out from the last production performed at the Alumnae Theatre/Nov. 2018.   It’s a new play, more focused, with the exact same characters but told in a different style and certainly tone.

My dramaturge Jane Miller was one of those people I met.   This is a photo taken of us at her place two summers ago.  The script on the table – ANIMAL, of course.  We have had many such meetings and as each draft is presented to her, I feel like I’m getting closer to where the play will ultimately land.  Although she (and couple others who read it), liked this draft…there is always a BUT.   A new draft opens up other areas of criticism/ discussion.  And so I carry on, BUT know full well, I am much closer to that light at the end of the tunnel.

The same is true for my screenplay LET IT SHINE.  It is not quite where I want it be and as I prepare to dive back into another draft, I truly feel that LET IT SHINE will find a home and garner attention when I send it out to more festivals.

And finally, let me end with this as I conclude my first musing of 2020 (holy cow!); there is an idiom that perfectly describes where I am at with ANIMAL (and to a lesser degree, LET IT SHINE).   Perhaps this idiom also applies to you at this time as you juggle the various factors in your life.  Whatever the case may be, carry on, stay focused (or find the focus), dig deep, ask questions, listen, breathe and most of all, always remember it is about the journey.  Here’s the idiom:

Thread the Needle:  To find harmony or strike a balance between conflicting forces, interests, etc.  Normally used to indicated the difficulty of doing so.